It’s Not About Me…

Aren’t you wondering why I didn’t write last night as usual?  I was actually asleep!  Yea!!!  I am off all those nasty medicines now and basically back to normal - just a bit more pain.  Thanks to my hubby’s great advice (yes, I actually listened to him for once!) I am taking Melatonin at night to help me sleep.  And it is working!  I did wake up very early this  morning at 4:53am due to a major post-menopausal hot flash and I got up to turn the air down.  (Okay, WAY down!)  On my way back to the bed I didn’t turn on the light so as not to wake Greg and smart me…  I tripped over my favorite Golden Retriever, Lassen.  (Yes, he’s my favorite which is why he is still alive today!)  I took a nice little fall and then was hurting so much (right side/leg and back) that I could not get back to sleep.  Bummer!!!  On the bright side, we were not late for church!

I used those beautiful early morning hours to get some work done, watch the sun rise (a rarity that I am up early enough to do that!) and to spend some one-on-one time with Elijah.  Elijah is the only somewhat morning person in this house, so he was pleasantly surprised to see me awake and on the couch when he woke up. 

Speaking of pain, the sermon this morning was JUST FOR ME!   It is amazing as it seems every week the sermon is about what I am specifically dealing with!   You can listen to it online (or download it to your ipod, I would if I had an ipod!!) at: http://www.southsidefellowship.org/weekly/sermons.aspx.  We are studying Jacob and I recommend starting at Week 1 and listening to all of them through today’s sermon.  As they are all excellent and life-changing in and of themselves.  “What does this have to do with pain?”  You ask.  Listen to the sermon and you will understand!  At the end was a favorite song of mine by Mercy Me, which is also my life theme song for some time now.  I can’t send you the actual tune, but it’s the words that are so profound.  It is as if the writer stepped into my mind and my heart and wrote the song from my perspective.  Here are the lyrics:

Bring The Rain

I can count a million times
People asking me how I
Can praise You with all that I’ve gone through
The question just amazes me
Can circumstances possibly
Change who I forever am in You
Maybe since my life was changed
Long before these rainy days
It’s never really ever crossed my mind
To turn my back on you, oh Lord
My only shelter from the storm
But instead I draw closer through these times
So I pray

Bring me joy, bring me peace
Bring the chance to be free
Bring me anything that brings You glory
And I know there’ll be days
When this life brings me pain
But if that’s what it takes to praise You
Jesus, bring the rain

I am Yours regardless of
The dark clouds that may loom above
Because You are much greater than my pain
You who made a way for me
By suffering Your destiny
So tell me what’s a little rain
So I pray

Holy, holy, holy
Is the Lord God Almighty

What is amazing is that I have people who have asked me that and people who continue to ask me all the times.  “How can you still be happy?”  “Don’t you ever wonder about God’s love when you go through so much?”  and my personal favorite, “Don’t you ever doubt or lose your faith?”  My answer is in the lyrics above.  It has never even crossed my mind to doubt His love.  I KNOW it, I can FEEL it every day.  I feel like shouting at the top of my lungs when asked such questions, “I WAS PARALYZED AND NOW I AM WALKING!!!  HELLO!”  But honestly, even if I were still paralyzed I would probably be wanting to shout something  else like, “LOOK AT THIS PEACE THAT PASSES UNDERSTANDING THAT HE GIVES ME EVERY DAY IN THE MIDST!!!”  Which is still as true as it was back then.  Wow!  I’m amazed.

Okay, I FINALLY got Greg to upload some pictures for me. 

The first two were taken on July 4th at the Heritage Park Amphitheatre.  We had a blast!!!

J.Jay (age 12) listening to his favorite type of music.  (See the Greenville Symphony Orchestra in the background?)

Elijah (age 6) and Greg.  A couple of good looking men! 

All the pictures with Brittney in it that night she is facing the stage, so here’s a picture taken earlier the same day:

She is almost 17.  My little girl, All grown up and saving China (Mulan)

As you can see life around here is very good.  Jesus, bring the rain!

 Clarification/Afterthought:  Greg read my blog (above) and said, “You act like you just walk around as happy as a lark all the time.  That’s not true!”  So, I said, “Anyone who reads my blog probably has read enough to know what I mean!”  But since he is usually always right and just in case you think I am flittering around like Tinkerbell, let me make it a bit more clear.  Happiness is not sheer smiling stupidity.  Happiness to me is contentedness.  It’s when at the end of the day you can smile and say “It’s all good” regardless of the circumstances or troubles that day brought.  Get it?  Got it?  GOOD!   Yea….  It’s ALL good!