It’s Not About Me…

Look at that picture and what do you see?? I see one happy (a bit pudgy, but very happy) NON-PARALYZED Mama riding a bicycle! YIPPEE!!! If you look back to my previous blog entries you will see that some time ago I announced that my goal was to ride my bicycle by my next birthday, July 3rd. Well… I am as impatient as usual and I met my goal 12 days early! The above picture was taken TODAY! Yep, that’s me!

Today has been a great day! First, J.Jay had his Tae Kwon Do testing in which I stayed to watch. He tested for his 4th belt - green. That was a fun, albeit it a five hour long event. Then I worked out at the gym, but at the last minute something told me that today was THE day to ride my real bike. So I cut my “stationary bike” workout short and came home to ride the real thing!

Greg was not too thrilled at first, to say the least. Okay, he was anxious almost to the point of being opposed - but he let me try. You should have seen the look on his face when I was riding. It was somewhere between terror and pride. Ha ha ha. J. Jay’s face on the other hand, showed shear pride. He popped onto his bike to track me down when he heard what I was doing. He was beaming from ear to ear. Then there is Elijah… just to see the smile on his little six year old face was priceless. He can’t remember ever having seen Mama ride a bike before. Wow!

When I got off I started crying, I mean downright bawling! It was coming from deep inside of me - out of sheer happiness, shock, realization of what I can do now and how far I’ve come, love for God, Awe of God, and thankfulness that I can now ride a bike with my kiddos. I never thought I would able to be such a “normal” mom again. I mean, I knew I would, but I didn’t really know. You know?!?!?! Wow! I have never experienced such a flood of happy tears in my life. I cried, sometimes loudly sobbing for almost an entire hour. I can’t even explain it. I told my hubby that I don’t think anyone could possibly understand the depth of the happiness and emotion I felt unless they had been paralyzed and then come this far “back” to being able to ride their bike. This means so much more to me than just the ability to ride my bike though. It is being able to be an active bike-riding Mom to my younger kiddos like I was to my older kiddos! It means family time all riding our bikes together. I can’t put it into words, it sounds so silly. BUT IT’S NOT!

Another BIG accomplishment today…. Today is day #1 of no prescription medications for me. I mean absolutely none, zero, ziltch! It has taken me a long time (weaning off them one at a time), but I am officially off all of my prescriptions. Wow! I have some that I may take on an “as needed” basis, but knowing me, probably not. So my pain levels are up, yet my activity is up too! Wow!

Everyone keeps asking me how I do it. I really want to make sure that everyone who reads this and everyone who knows me realizes that I am not doing anything. I cannot even make it through one day on my own as I am not that strong of a person. My pain is too great and I am too weak. But in my weakness, He is stronger. That’s not just a cute Bible verse (or a nice song), it is my daily reality. It’s one thing to hear it or to read it, it’s another thing entirely to actually live it! The fact of the matter is that I have only gotten this far because God has given me the gumption and He continues to give it to me every single day (usually minute by minute) of my life. God Given Gumption. Triple Geez! I am so grateful He loves me this much. It’s not me, it’s Him!

Some other cool things taking place in the Berthume household:

• J.Jay is so focused with his Tae Kwon Do. I am very proud of how far he’s come in such a short time!
• Greg (I didn’t have the heart to do it!) took Elijah’s blanket away earlier in the week as he (Elijah) was starting to carry it around with him and was getting way too attached to it. After a couple of fitful night’s sleep, Elijah is “over it” and doing great with no blanket!
• After such success with the blanket I started putting the nasty tasting stuff on his thumbnail. He wanted to stop sucking his thumb almost as bad as we wanted him to stop. Well… this is the third day in a row of no thumb sucking. He is going to sleep like a baby, no problem. Wow! Who’da thunk? My little baby is not a little baby anymore.
• The boys (Greg, J.Jay and Elijah) caught a “Fowler’s Toad” tonight while looking for fireflies. Elijah is a bug, insect, reptile, amphibian maniac so he insisted on catching it and “keeping” it. Greg made a temporary habitat for it so Elijah can study it for a couple of days before releasing him. Very cool.
• Brittney is hanging out with her girlfriends more and really seems to be enjoying her summer. Also very cool.
• Greg and I are reading the book “The Shack”. To say we highly recommend it is an understatement. EVERYONE should read this book. I am almost finished with it and it is by far the best book I have ever read. (With the exception of the Bible, of course!) I haven’t even finished it and I already want to read it again!
• Our HOMESCHOOLOPOLY® buy one get one free sale is going well, so we are continuing it for a little bit longer.
• Tomorrow is Sunday, my favorite day of the week.

Not to beat a dead horse (I love horses, so I would never do that!) but in 8 days it will be 10 months from “P-Day” (day I became paralyzed from waist down). But who cares about that anymore because today is “B-Day” (the day I rode my bike for the first time, not only since P-Day, but for the first time in over 4 years!!!) So, Happy B-Day to me!!!

Finally, thanks so much for all your prayers of late, I can feel them! Life is good.