My blog will be moving to http://www.pamela.berthume.com/ effective 10/10/2009.  I am still in the process of getting it all done, but wanted to give you the heads up now so you can add my new blog to your favorites.  ;)  We are shutting down our HomeschoolersConnecting.com site as we are not getting enough participation to warrant continuing to pay for that site and domain.

As soon as my new site is up and running, I will write a comprehensive and long overdue blog entry - so keep watching for it!

• Brittney graduated high school and is now enrolled to start in the local community college in the fall.
• Greg and I celebrated our 25th Wedding Anniversary on June 15th
• We met Robby’s fiance (they become engaged during their visit here in early June).
• We celebrated our 4 year anniversary of living in one house yesterday, July 29th.  LONGEST EVER!
• Brittney turns 18 on August 10th and her first day of college is August 17th!

Some momentous stuff, huh?!?!  Now for some of the latest revelations that have come about in this never dull household.  I learned yesterday that Elijah, our 7 year old, has an amazing gift in his adorable little right-brained brain in that he sees differently then I do, or most others for that matter.  He explained to me that when he looks at an object he can see all sides of it at once.  Front, back, sides, top, and bottom!  How cool is that?!?  He thought that everyone saw that way.  After asking him lots of questions about specifics, I have deduced that if it is something he’s never seen before that’s not the case, but it is if he’s seen something at least once or twice before.  It seems to me that it’s as if his brain memorizes all angles and substitutes his memory image next time he sees it.  I then researched it and found that it’s called “Visual Spatial Thinking” and is a classic symptom of dyslexia (yes, we already knew he had dyslexia.)  Check out this description I found, “Generally, these people tend to be bright, creative, “right-brained” thinkers, who think in concepts and pictures. They have the unique ability to see “in dimension,” or mentally “see” objects from all sides without actually moving their eyes or the objects . This talent lends itself to drawing, building, putting things together, and recalling concrete or visual information.” Taken from: http://www.learningdisability.com/articles/dyslexia.htm  WOW!

After explaining this to his Dad, Greg went on to say how amazing that was since as he’s looking around he can see the word of what he’s looking at in his “mind’s eye”.  What?!?  I pushed and he explained that everywhere he looks he sees words.  When he looks at the picnic table (which is where we were when he was telling us this) he sees the word “table” when he looked at Elijah he saw the word “cute”.  He literally sees words and sometimes sentences or phrases all the time!  I was so shocked.  How could we have been married for 25 years and him never tell me this?  He said he never really thought much about it until we were talking about what Elijah saw.  Then he went on to telling me the words he saw as he was seeing them.  :0

There’s more…  J.Jay returned today from a mission trip with the youth group at church exhausted, 4 pounds lighter, and at least 4 years wiser than when he left.  A very contemplative young man I have on my hands.  Well, on the way home I told him of Elijah and Dad’s visions, er uh…. talents and he said, he sees words too!  Not only that, he hears music like background music in his head all the time.  As with the others, he thought everyone did!  That helps explain his amazing musical talent!  J.Jay and Greg have Asperger’s Syndrome so this must be an Asperger’s trait?!?  When I am finished writing this I am going to have to research that one too!

All I can say is Wow…  COOL!!  Personally, I feel very boring compared to my counterparts here in this house! I do not understand why anyone would use the term disability when referring to either dyslexia or asperger’s.  They are both amazing gifts!  I wish I had such gifts…  or any gift for that matter.  Okay, I do have adHd (yes, with a capital H!) but I don’t have anything amazing or special going on in my head.  I tried to see words, pictures or something - but it’s just not working.

Anyway, I am doing lots of research on the right brain (Elijah) trying to figure out the best way to teach him how to read better.  He is really struggling, especially with fluency.  I have settled on Phono-Graphix from the book Reading Reflex and am preparing his curriculum for next year.   I am also researching left brain (J.Jay) ways of teaching so I can be a much better homeschooling Momma to both of these kiddos.  Boy, do I have a lot to learn!  A homeschooling Mom’s job never ends - but it’s never boring, that’s for sure.  Interesting and amazing stuff.

As for me, with the exception of my occasional yet overwhelming bouts of anxiety about all things educational, parental, and monetary (anxiety that must be chemical in nature or due to being post-menopausal as although I know and can rationalize the stupidity of my anxiety during these bouts, I have zero control and my emotions seem to take over my senses.) I am one incredibly happy and contented woman.  I have realized that all I need in life to be happy I already possess.

1. Jesus Christ - who carries me much of the time and is the reason that I can always say with total honesty “It’s all good!”
2. My AMAZING, wonderful, hubby who loves me more than I deserve and always makes me laugh.  (That should earn me some brownie points with him!)
3. My fun (and funny), loving, and talented kiddos (every one of them!) who always tell me what a great mom they think I am.  (It helps that they have no other moms to compare me to!)
4. Our comfy home built “just for us” - 4 YEARS WOW!
5. My friends - I have so many who truly care about me and whom I truly care about!
6. Always having plenty of healthy food in the house (and if I am doing my job well, on the table!)
7. Finally, The Waltons on DVD.   Tee hee.  Greg and I and the boys watch an episode every night before going to bed.  We started at the beginning and are up to season 5 now!  It keeps us in a loving and appreciating family mode.  I absolutely LOVE the fact that we don’t have cable or satellite or watch TV.  This may seem weird, but I get a warm, comfy feeling inside when I am out of the loop and others are talking about some TV show that I am clueless about.  I never feel like I’m missing out on anything.  Quite the opposite!

Even though times are still incredibly tough financially and will be for the foreseeable future, I feel very rich.  I truly have it all..  and it’s all good!

As a parent, the older my kids get the more I have had to come to the realization that everything I have done for my children is for them, and it’s not about me.  For the most part they do not appreciate it, nor will they anytime soon.  This was, and continues to be a very hard reality for me.  Of course, in my heart I am doing everything for them, but that selfish part of me sure would like some recognition.  Private recognition, public recognition - ANY recognition!  Sad and selfish, but hey - I am just being honest.  Personally, I have given my entire life and career up to be a full time homeschooling mom and I can honestly say that I have never regretted that decision.  At the same time, it’s not so easy to stay motivated and focused knowing that I have at least eleven more years to go, especially when the rewards are so meager.  I hear that they do appreciate all their parents have done for them some day, but it is rumored to generally not take place until after they have kids of their own.  We are raising our kids to be adults which means that the older they get the more they pursue their own aspirations, leaving you in the dust and too often with very little, if any recognition for all your years of devotion, dedication, and sheer hard work!  Can you relate?  If you are a parent of children under 12 or so, you’re not there yet - but be prepared!  On the other hand, if you have offspring between the ages of 12 and 29 - you are most likely nodding knowingly as you read.

In life, it is at this exact spot where the rubber meets the road.  Am I going to give up?  Allow the voice in my head that says, “What is the point?  They won’t remember my hard work and dedication.  They will probably grow up and not even appreciate it at all.  For all I know, they’ll grow up to be embarrassed that they were homeschooled in the first place!  All the years and tears I invested in raising my kids to know and love the Lord, they may choose to turn their back on the Lord totally…  I am just wasting my time…  my life!”  It’s at times like this that I have to quiet that voice and force myself to remember that it’s not about me!  Honestly, it’s not about them either.  I am raising my kids in a loving, solid, Christian, homeschooling environment with everything I have in me and will as long as I have breath in me for one reason and one reason only.  When I get to heaven I want to have them all right there with me as I hear the words I have been living to hear, “Well done my good and faithful servant.  Well done.”

So if the daily drudgery of parenting is getting you down and the thanks and appreciation you get seems nonexistent at best - just remember…  It’s not about you!  Mothering is a thankless job, but a worthy one.  Mothers shape the future, the leaders, and the nation.  They may not recognize it or give us the credit, but that’s not the point anyway.   So to all you mothers out there,  Hang in there!  When the going gets tough…  hang in there!  When nobody is watching…  hang in there!  When no one seems to care…  hang in there!  This Mother’s Day whether you get breakfast in bed - or not, cards, flowers, or nothing for Mother’s Day…  hang in there!  They may not say it, they may not show it but way deep down inside they know that you are the one who gave them their wings and taught them how to fly.  Let them fly and laugh in the wind.  It’s not about you.

To all the mother’s reading this who can relate…  HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Our sermon at church was yet again awesome and as if directed specifically to me.  I am continually amazed at how every week it seems as though the sermon is meant especially for me.  So cool how God does that!?!?!

Anyway, today was about the purpose of a Christian’s life.  So many of us are trying to live out either the story that we are writing, or in some cases the story that others are writing for us (and we are the victim).  We typically consider our lives successful when and if we see visible/tangible results that makes us look good. The fact of the matter is, this life is not our story at all, rather it’s God’s story which is coming true.   If we are truly living God’s story, we may not see or get any tangible results, at least in this life - but we still keep the faith because it’s not about us.  What God truly wants most out of us, out of me, is simply put - faith.  To keep the faith - come what may.  Faithful to the end.  Life with God is not about visible or tangible results.  Success is not determined by what makes me look good.  Success is keeping the faith and living out my part in HIS story!  Wow, so simple and yet so profound.

The final question for us to ponder was  “Who’s story are you living for?”  I realized that I keep trying to grab the pen away from God and write my own story.  I keep inviting God to be a part of my story.  The fact is, Christianity is about God inviting me into HIS story.  I saw myself for what I am today, pathetic.  I realized more than ever with such clarity that if I am truly honest with myself, I like the story being about me.  Furthermore, I LIKE tangible results and I like them NOW!  How sad is that?  Sad. God, here is your pen back.  Write away.  One of my all-time favorite verses now has more meaning than ever to me.   Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we cannot see.”  

BTW, if you would like to listen to the sermon online, or subscribe to it in itunes just visit: Southside Fellowship Weekly Sermons

Today, I want to share with you some Berthume Funnies.  Let me start with my almost 13 year old (his birthday is on Valentine’s Day) - my “love” child - J.Jay.   He had to write some sentences for his grammar today using various, specific helping verbs.  The first part (bolded) was given and he was to complete it.  I absolutely cracked up at one of the sentences he wrote, and I quote,

  “I should write my aunt, because she is my aunt and if I don’t write to her
I’ll get an F in composition and fail school and not get a job when I’m 18
and I’ll be roaming the streets broke and my life will be a waste.”

First of all, that is one long run-on sentence!  But I thought it was absolutely hilarious.  All of them were witty, but that was by far the wittiest.  He’s a trip.  Okay, here was his second wittiest sentence of the day:

“I was writing my aunt when suddenly lightning struck my right hand
and it became paralyzed and I can’t write with my left hand
and my mom can’t do it for me cause that would be cheating.

Okay, I know there’s some bad grammar there. (Tense switching mid-sentence; “cause” should be “because”, I could go on…  but I won’t.)  The point is, what a great imagination and sense of humor that boy has!  I enjoy him. (He doesn’t enjoy me quite as much as I enjoy him… especially around algebra time!)

Now for my 7 year old, Elijah.  His AWANA/SPARKS leader told him over the phone last week that he could be her “helper” to help the other kids remember the rules and behave better.  Tonight was his first night back since this glorious news.  When we got home he plopped down on the sofa utterly exhausted and said, “Being a leader is harder than I thought!  John* and Joe* kept talking and I had to separate them!”
“Wow!” I said.  “Did anything else happen?”
“Yeah!  John was crying because he couldn’t say his sections so I went to Mrs. Kim and said What do I do now?  He’s having a fit!  So we got someone to help him with his sections and he finally shut up.”

*I changed the names to protect the innocent…  er guilty!  Even though he was so worn out, he insisted that it was worth all the work.  He can’t wait to go back next week, since he’s a “leader” now.  (His words, not mine!)  After filling Dad in about his exhausting evening and showing him his Sparky pin and certificate from winning “Sparky of the Month” for January, he was so tired that he went straight to bed without even having a snack!  His heart has been set on growing up to become a movie director for almost 2 years now, but if you ask me he should go into acting.  He’s so good at it!  (BTW, he wants to be a zookeeper too!  Part-time, of course since he’ll be so busy producing and directing movies.  Again - his words!)

I would put in a funny about Brittney, my 17 year old - but she might not appreciate that, with her being so cool and all.  She might just kill me. Oh, okay…  get up off your knees.  Your begging worked.   Her latest funny was, “Wow, Mom you are looking so skinny today!  <pause for all of 2 seconds>  Can I have 10 bucks?”  Put it this way, all of her compliments are followed a question beginning with those two little words, “Can” and “I”!

As for my oldest son…  sorry, you are out of luck.  I can’t put in a funny about him or he really WILL kill me!   He’s got a reputation to maintain, you know?!?!  Actually, he spent yesterday at the hospital, which is NOT funny, and it is weighing heavy on my heart lately.  So…  I won’t push it by telling you one of his many funnies.

As for me…  I am  just about the funniest person I know!  So what if nobody else gets it?  Just today, when Greg told me to stop worrying I said, “But that’s my job!  And I am so good at it!”  What?  That’s not funny enough for you?  How about this…  Earlier today I crossed my eyes while trying to teach J.Jay algebra.  Now, THAT was funny!  It made him laugh.  Geez, you are still not convinced?  Just trust me.  I am funny!

Oh and Greg, my sweet hubby…  he’s not funny.  (I’m just kidding, see how funny I am?)

Speaking of funny, I was raised with a “wrath of God” view of Jesus and over ten years ago I saw a picture called “Jesus Laughing” that changed my views and instantly became a favorite of mine.  To this day I have a copy of it hanging on my mirror and it cheers me up every time I look at it.  I love it!   So, as a special bonus for reading my blog I will share it with you.

Isn’t that great?!?!  Gotta love it.  Alrighty then…  this funny woman is off to bed.  Nighty night!

We have had a great holiday.  I am still listening, (if you read my last blog entry) and keep hearing “write, WRITE” and so that’s what I am doing a whole lot of… writing, but not my next homeschool book.  I have totally ceased all writing on the book I have been working on for some time, The Perfect Homeschool Mom Does Not Exist, as it’s just not working for me.   Maybe because it’s too real for me right now? Don’t know. . .  my heart is just not in it.   So, I have decided to put it on hold and follow my heart and write what I really WANT to write - my novel.  I have had this entire story in my head (and lots of it outlined) for over a year now, so I started writing.  Now, I can’t stop and am already on Chapter 4!   I love writing, it’s so much fun!  Curious?  All I will tell you is that it’s nothing you would expect from me.  :0   It’s a suspense novel with a bit of an unusual storyline.  That’s all I will tell!  Oh yea, and the title is Euroditio.  Is that cool or what!?!?!   What does that mean?  That’s for me to know and you to find out!  Ok, now THAT’S all I will tell.  :|   Anyway, I am writing lately every chance I get, and making time to write even when I don’t have the time!  I am so into this story that writing is a blast and for me it’s a wonderful state of relaxation.  I only wish I could write full-time, but alas - hubby and kiddos come first, then house, then our business, then….  well, you get the picture.  It’s a complex story though and going to be a long book, so my goal is to finish it no later than this summer.

My biggest and best news of late was my very special, way cool Christmas surprise…  Robby!  On Thursday, December 18th, I was in the classroom working with J.Jay on diagramming sentences when in walked my daughter, Brittney, home earlier then expected.  “What are you doing here?” I asked.  Before she could answer Robby stepped into the room and said, “Hi, Mom!”  To say I was in shock would be an understatement.  IT FREAKED ME OUT!  I was so surprised to see him at home, all the way here from California that I started crying!  My son has come home!  (Well, for a few days anyway.)   Then he went upstairs and freaked out his dad.  (No, Greg didn’t cry - he took it like a man!)  What an AWESOME Christmas gift!   Turns out he had Brittney pick him up from the airport, unbeknownst to us, to surprise us.   I have never EVER been more surprised in my life!  He left on the Tuesday before Christmas so I got to have all four of my kiddos under one roof for five whole days!  How cool is that?  For me - way cool. 

So, as you can see, I am one very blessed woman!  As long as I don’t get confused by the things of this world (money, stuff, looks, vanity, blah, blah, blah) and measure life by the things that truly matter; Life in the Berthume home is good…  Very good.

One great year about to come to an end, another one about to begin.  It’s all good!  Happy 2009!

God stepped into our hearts that year and for once, we actually listened to Him.  He told us to do something.  Anything, just do SOMETHING.  Well we did.  We knew that they did not have much food, had no presents to put under the tree…  well, they didn’t even HAVE a Christmas tree!  We also knew that the boy really wanted a bike for Christmas, and the mom was very sad, knowing that their basic needs were barely being met, there was certainly no possibility of him getting his “Christmas wish.”

We didn’t have much money ourselves, so Greg shared their story with his co-workers at the time who donated money for the family. We didn’t just buy some stuff to drop off at their doorstep.  We visited them, at their motel on more than one occasion in the days leading up to Christmas.  We gave them Christmas presents, brought them bags of groceries, presented them with some basic necessities, and the most fun was when we took them a real live Christmas tree, along with some lights and decorations!  They were so overwhelmed.  We were so overjoyed!

Then something happened a mom will never forget. Neither me, nor her.   My son, Robby, decided to give his very own bike to her son.  Not only did I not suggest this, I even tried to talk him out of it!  I told him we could not afford to get him another bike anytime soon.  He was adamant.  In his mind, and in his heart it was the “right” thing to do.  There was no swaying him.  His mind was made up.  I will never ever forget it when Robby and I stood there, in the parking lot of that motel, watching that little boy ride his “new” bike weaving in and out of the concrete curb thingies that were in the front of each parking space.  Nor will I forget the look of pure joy and relief on his mom’s face.  But what I remember the most is the look of pride (well-deserved pride!) and confidence on my Robby’s face.    He KNEW he had done the right thing.  And he felt so good about it!   It seemed that he was just as happy, if not happier than the little boy riding his bike all through the parking lot.

Much to his delight and surprise, Robby himself ended up getting a brand new bike for Christmas that year.  He truly deserved it.  He gave his bike away expecting nothing in return, but he ended up getting a new, better bike then what he gave away.  There’s a another lesson all wrapped up in that alone.  God will always bless us when we step out and obey him.  His blessings are better then what we can provide for ourselves, better even than what we can even think or imagine.  Wow.

What are we going to do this year?  I want another year like that.  I am trying, so hard, to just listen.  I want my younger kids, still living at home to have an experience like that.  Fact is, we are so busy and caught up in our own lives, during this precious Christmas season which is supposed to be about Christ, God with us - coming here - to live among mere men, but we, those He came to with a desire to be with, are more often than not too busy with our own agenda ringing so loud in our ears, to even hear His still small voice.  God is always in our lives, in our thoughts, prompting us and nudging us.  That year, we actually listened.  This year I want to slow down enough to hear His voice again.  I want to stop the meaningless activity.  I want to listen, again.  Shhhh…..  Do you hear something?

Our Thanksgiving this year was not ideal, two of my four kids were not home for Thanksgiving Day and we have had a couple of recent deaths in the family on my step-dad’s side, which made for some sadness all around.  Still, I couldn’t help thinking on both Wednesday and on Thursday as I baked and cooked and worked all day long - 2 days in a row - just how thankful I am.  Was I tired?  Yes, exhausted!  But, I did it!  I am walking this year.  It’s so amazing!  Every year we sit down at Thanksgiving and we think of and talk about all of the things we are thankful for.  All of which are so important.  But this year was so different for me.  In a year when I should be down, nothing could get me down.  I had some sad moments, I missed my kids, but for the most part I was just so thankful to be walking and working away in the kitchen.   How awesome just to spend time with family with my little red scooter tucked away in the garage, never to be seen.  I kept thinking about last year….  And all I could do was smile.

I looked back at my entry last year and I wrote, “I am really longing for the “old” me to return already!  I wake up every morning and subconsciously think this is the day I will walk again and everything will go back to normal.  But, it doesn’t happen.  I am having fun driving, now - but oh how I miss walking.”  Wow!  Doesn’t that just say it all?  I remember it like it was yesterday.  I had just gotten hand controls on my vehicle, so was able to drive with my hands and I was so thrilled, yet it was becoming a realization that I may very well never walk again.  All I can say is…  Just look at me now!  Not only am I walking, but better than I have in about 5 years.  I am walking without even using my cane or any aids 90% of the time!  Wow!  If you don’t know if God works miracles anymore, I am here to tell you that He does!  I am a “walking” miracle.

So, from my family to yours…  Happy Thanksgiving!  WHAT AN UNDERSTATEMENT!

Still, I am still super duper thankful that I am doing as well as I am!  My key word of the month is: perspective.  We must put every aspect into our lives in the proper perspective in order to live a full and happy life.  If I compare my days to someone else’s I might get discouraged.  If I compare my days to my prior days, I am very encouraged!  It’s all about perspective. 

All is well around here.  We seem to have a very busy house lately, but it’s all a good busy.  Greg is working like the energizer bunny lately.  Even though he works from home, it seems I hardly see him any more.  Now, that may sound strange, but it’s reality.  We communicate more via IM (him upstairs and me down) than face-to-face!  What a crazy world we live in, huh?!?!?

Brittney was accepted into Lander University.  YEA!!!!  She is very excited, and a tad bit nervous.  I am thrilled, beyond words.  We both fell in love with the college when we visited it and not only became her first choice, but THE college she wanted to go to.  So I am thrilled that we were able to apply early and she got accepted quickly.  Now we just have to work out all those details and apply for and hopefully get LOTS and LOTS of scholarship money and grant money!

J. Jay is growing up so fast.  He keeps calling himself 13 already, although his actual birthday is not for another 4 months.  It dawned on me the other day that I am soon to have 2 teenagers living under the same roof!  Hmmmm….  He has so many interests and hobbies his only dilemma is finding the time to do it all!  He reads voraciously, does animation on his computer, plays piano & keyboard, and enjoys playing with Elijah, his little brother.  He is never EVER at a lack of anything to do.  I can’t remember the last time I have heard the words “I’m bored” coming from his mouth.  Usually I am pulling him away from one of his beloved activities to do school!  It’s odd as we have no cable or satellite TV (we do dvds and videos) yet he is never bored.  Who’da thunk?

Elijah, my little dude, is another one who is growing up too fast. He has been talking about his 7th birthday for over a month now and it’s not until November 17th!  We are having a party for him a week and a half early so it is not shared with Thanksgiving and we are having a LEGO party.  He is a LEGO maniac.  He also have several interests and is a very contented and busy young man lately.  He can typically be found either playing with his LEGOs, playing with and taking excellent care of his snake (yes, shorty is still alive and doing awesome!),  playing JumpStart 2nd Grade which is his favorite computer game (no he’s not in 2nd grade yet, only 1st), or outside in the back yard “pretending” which means making up movies.  He still wants to be a movie director when he grows up AND he wants to be a zookeeper too!  He’s a very happy, self-entertaining little guy.  He is always saying “I love my life”.  How cool is that?

Me, I am good.  My pain levels are higher than I would like to admit, and I am having middle heart racing, anxiety type attacks a few times every week so I am not sleeping well.  But, all of that is chump change compared to having happy, thriving kids who love and appreciate their lives.  So, overall I am one happy and thankful Momma!

So, as you go about your day, I would love for you to keep us in your prayers.  I am still praying for total healing.  He has healed me SO MUCH already and for that I am so thankful.  I am praying that my healing will continue.  :)  I leave you with one of my favorite Bible passages, which I think of when I think of how many people out there care for and pray for me. 

It’s Phillipians 4:10-13  I am very happy in the Lord that you have shown your care for me again. You continued to care about me, but there was no way for you to show it.  I am not telling you this because I need anything. I have learned to be satisfied with the things I have and with everything that happens.  I know how to live when I am poor, and I know how to live when I have plenty. I have learned the secret of being happy at any time in everything that happens, when I have enough to eat and when I go hungry, when I have more than I need and when I do not have enough. I can do all things through Christ, because he gives me strength.

I don’t have this mastered by any means, but I do feel as though I have learned through all this to be content.  I can only say this as I truly am content.  Circumstances change some days are good and some days are bad.  But all in all, I am very VERY content.  God is good!

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